If Life is So Short

November 15, 2008 at 10 pm, I received a message from Lion. She told me that Andre's grandma passed away. I was quite shocked. I knew from Bakul that Andre was very close to his grandma, how was his feeling that time...? Then I thought what if now I'm in Andre's position, that my grandma is passed away... I don't dare to imagine what my feeling will be...

I had this dream, to get married on August 20, 2008. The reason was just because I like the date (20-08-2008), cute isn't it? hehe... Of course, my dream didn't come true... I'm still single now because my prince charming hasn't come yet (what I mean with prince charming is a guy who is READY to settle) hahhaa... But I can't imagine, too, if I really got married at very young age (I hadn't reached 22 yet that time), how can I handle a family? Oh come on, I can’t even cook! Marriage is my dream, but on the other hand, there are so many things that I want to do. But why do I really really want to get married as soon as possible is my grandma. I have this desire, to see her smile on my wedding day. My grandma is 87 years old this year and she has no grand-grandchild yet. My eldest cousin hasn’t married yet. Sometimes I felt pity for her because someone at her age maybe has already have grand-grandchildren… Maybe I can give her, that’s what I always think. But still, my condition doesn’t let this happen. I know God has reason for this, but I always pray that she will be still alive on my wedding day. This is what I want, but maybe I should see it from my grandma’s point of view. My dad told me that actually every night she asks God to take her away. Maybe because she feels lonely (3 of her 4 siblings have passed away) and nothing in this house can fill her emptiness. Or maybe because she can’t walk anymore, she feels that she becomes a burden for us (but I never think like that!). I don’t know what makes her has that will exactly, but maybe I should not be egoist. God knows what best, if He thinks that my request is best then He will give what I want, if He thinks that my grandma’s request is best then He will grant it, and if He thinks there’s something’s best beyond our mind then He will give it to us.

I pray that Andre is given strength from Above, to accept all what has happened and to learn to understand what God’s plan is. I also pray for myself that if the day comes to me, I also will be given strength and faith to face it. Now that I know that life is so short, I should use it wisefully. Ephesians 5:15-17… I should use my time left with my grandma to do my best to comfort her. Because all I want is to see her smile always...