And I Thank You, Lord

"
she was the person whose smile on her face is that i want to see the most . . .
she was the person whose presence is that i want in my wedding day the most . . .
she was the person whom i want to be beside when she breathed the very last breath the most . . .
but i got "no"s for the answers, and i thank You, Lord for that answer . . .
i thank You, Lord, for giving her to me for 22 years of my life . . .
i thank You, Lord, for providing her such a happier, better place by Your side . . .
i thank You, Lord, because You are the all-knowing-God who knows best for everyone . . .
i thank You, Lord . . .
"

My beloved grandma was born in August 01, 1921, and she passed away on July 16, 2009. It was just less than 3 weeks before she reached 88.

That day I didn't see my mom online on MSN, I thought she just went to the other office. In the afternoon I sent sms to her regarding some stuff. She replied late in the evening, with a short notice in the bottom, saying that my grandma has passed away that morning, peacefully in her sleep. I was blank.

I replied to my mom, saying that God knows what's best. But I did cry. I asked God to keep her until my wedding day... well, at least I want to be there when she's gone! I even personally asked her to wait for me, for 2 years only... But why?? Didn't she love me enough, like I do?

I needed some time to fix up my feelings. I didn't get angry. I was just wondering, is she happy now? Because this is what she wanted. Not what I want, though. If that is what she wanted, she got it, and she is happy, what the hell am I doing protesting??

Like what I said to my mom, God knows what's best. I don't know now, I don't understand why. What I can do is thank Him. Give thanks IN every thing, not FOR every thing. There is always something to be thanked if you really search. I found it, so I made that poem for her...