my nightsky

Reality Show

2011-07-27T00:46:00.000+10:00

There was this Christian song that used to be my favourite when I was little. I had almost forgotten about it until one of my housemates played the tune on a piano a few days ago. The lyric is more or less like this :
"You may not understand what you experience now, why things that has happened, happened. One thing you need to remember is that everything that God gives is good. He would never give a poisonous snake to those who asked for a bread. The temptations that you have are not beyond what you can bear. God's hands are now sewing a masterpiece. There will be a certain time later when you can see the bigger picture that shows his love."

I noticed that there is one error in the lyric, in the part of giving a poisonous snake instead of a bread, because that is not what is really written in the Scripture. But I don't think that's a major error that could change the whole content of the song.

This lyric actually contains one of my used-to-be favourite verses that I had long forgotten : I Corinthians 10 : 13 which says, "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
Since last year, I have experienced a big temptation that has become my biggest fear until now. I don't understand why God keep giving me this problem although He knows the importance of it to me. Then I started to question him: Is he really there? Does he really love me? Why don't I feel his love? Why is he being so unfair to me? Does he actually hate me and want to throw me away? The more and more I thought about it, the more faithless I've become. I told him that I can't bear this anymore, and I started to move away from him. I have even done the unthinkable things that I might regret in the future as an action to show him my protest and I didn't really care.

When I heard this tune played in the piano, it brought some memories back. How easy it was for me to mark this song as one of my favourites at that time when nothing went wrong. How easy it was to say "Your will be done in my life" when everything went exactly as I wanted it to be. How easy it was to be faithful when I got everything I wanted. But now that I did not (or have not yet, I don't know, I hope) get what I need the most (or is it what I want?), it is very hard to apply those things I've done previously. I still can't understand why this thing happened to me. I still can't accept if this is his will. And I seriously still think that this temptation has gone over my limit that I want to give up. I did try to be a complete faithless person aka an atheist. But I couldn't as I realised that I need more faith to not believe than to believe.

Long time ago, I asked God to keep me close to him always because I knew that I am not that strong. Several times I had fell down but I managed to rise up. This time is harder. I had decided to cut off my relationship with him (not reading Bible, not attending services, stopped my ministries) and keep protesting until he gives me what I want. I didn't think that was a good idea but I was so angry and didn't want to acknowledge him anymore. But then I heard this tune on the piano! Was this his way to remind me of his faithfulness when I've lost my faith? Was this his way to show me that he knows my struggles and sorrow? Was this his way to pull me closer? Whatever it was, it has successfully made me think about how strong I am and how much I can bear. And, I'm sure there will be a way out.

International

2011-01-09T12:30:00.002+10:00

"International??"
"What kind of name is that??"
I started laughing without knowing that in less than a year I would be his girlfriend.

So I know this friend of mine from my previous school, and together with his girlfriend, we three are good friends. On last Christmas and New Year holiday, this couple went on a road trip with my friend's housemate. They showed me some photos from the trip and told me that his housemate is a very nice guy, and he is good looking as well. But since he doesn't like his picture being taken, there were not many of his pictures that I could see, and I wasn't interested anyway either. This guys was International, but I didn't know about it that time.

A few months after that, I decided to buy a car and I remembered of my friend who is studying to be a mechanic. I asked for his help to inspect a car that I wanted to buy. He told me that his knowledge was still little and referred me to another friend whom he knows is a very skilled mechanic. International. That was the day I laughed because I asked for his name. Unfortunately, we couldn't meet up since he had to move to another town on the inspection date.

Months later, my friend had to go back to his country because he was sick and the cost of treatment there is much cheaper than here. Since I've been good friends with his girlfriend, too, we often go out and have meal together. But those days, she refused to go out with me, saying that this friend of her boyfriend was very lonely and she agreed to accompany him having meals. We then rarely catch up until her boyfriend came back here and asked me to go out together. That time I was busy with uni stuff so I refused. He kept on asking, and I kept saying no. Finally, the day of my last exam came and I was officially free. I suddenly got a call from the girlfriend, asking me to come over to their place. When I arrived at their place, it appeared that they had arranged a meeting for me and this guy. Apparently he had heard lots of stories about me and somehow had seen my pictures then he asked to be introduced to me. This guy, well, was International. He came back here after around 3 months working in another town.

Things moved so fast and intense. Suddenly he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was not even ready for this but he is a very decent guy who treats me like a princess. If I said no, there would be no guarantee that he would still be around. So I decided to give it a chance =)

It took him around a year to finally cross my path. And things between us do not just run smoothly. At the moment, we are still struggling to be together. But if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

A quote from a movie that I recently watched (with him) :
"As for the question of destiny... All I know is that even when destiny really wants to accomplish something, it can't do it alone. You still have to go to that restaurant. You still have to show up. You still have to build a bridge... to the one you love."
-Charlie Bellow ~ My Sassy Girl-

smilesmilesmilesmilesmile, PLEASE!!

2010-07-16T21:54:00.005+10:00

I hate my old school.

Their system is just crappy. Even when I wanted to get out from there, it was very hard to do. I actually have finished the course and I needed Academic Transcript to enter university. But I got some issues with my Academic Transcript. The teacher had fixed it up but the grade had not been out in my Transcript. After giving more than 24 hours of my patience, I decided to go there to see what the problem was. I went to the Administration hub and they told me that they had not received the result from the teacher, that was why they would not do anything about my Transcript. They asked me to find the teacher and talk to her, or email her if I couldn't find her that day. This was very ridiculous! I explained that I even have got a Letter of Completion, but how come they still got problem with my Transcript. I would not be given one if there was a problem. And I was wondering what these people are working for actually. It was not my job to chase the teacher! I came there to get my problem fixed, but all they did was asking me to sort it out by myself! They did not even make an effort to see if the teacher was there that day or not. They just do not do internal communication. I was not happy at all because obviously there was something missing in these people's job description. But because they insisted that they could not do anything (they spoke to me with raised voice, so I was kind of yelling back to them, sorry I didn't mean to), I didn't have any choice but to go find the teacher. Luckily the teacher was teaching that day and she was very helpful. She told me that she had really fixed this problem out and she did not know what happened. She was willing to do it over again realising that this was very important to me (It was! My class in uni would start on Monday and that day was Friday, btw). Some other teachers helped me out, too, because they realised there would be some other problems if I did everything by myself because I was only a student. To make a long story short, finally I got my Transcript. Then I left that school and do not have any intention to go back. Goodbye!

I went to the university to process my enrollment. Firstly, I told the Student Centre people that I needed to make a timetable to attend class on Monday and I needed a student card, too. They said that I needed to go enroll myself online because I missed the orientation that week, which was not because of my fault. After I get myself enrolled then they can give me the student card. The people there suggested me to go to the Faculty to see if they could help me to enroll. There, I tried to access my account, but I found out that the system could not log me on. So the people there suggested me to go to the IT Help Desk and ask the people there to reset my password. I went there and the people there were confused because normally I needed a student card in order for them to help me. But after I explained my situation and they made some phone calls, they finally gave me a new password. The problem was not over because although I got a new password, I couldn't fully access the account. So I went back to the Help Desk and they made some other phone calls then told me to go to the International Student Service to see if they could help me. It was 13 minutes before the office closed. I came there and explained my situation to one person. She made a phone call and then she found out what my problem was. I could not fully access my account because I have just been registered that day as the result of submitting Transcript so late, which was not my fault, was it?? So anyway, I have to wait for at least 24 hours for the system to recognise me.

So, I went to uni for nothing. But what is strange is that I didn't feel annoyed at all. They "ping-pong"-ed me, they made me walk here and there in the "dark" (remember, I missed the orientation and this was my first time going there), and finally I found out that there was nothing I could do. But really, I feel fine with all of this. And why....?? Because these people in uni have great customer service skills! They are friendly, they communicate to each other, too. And the most importantly is............ they SMILE!!

Smile really manipulates mood. Not only your own mood, but also the mood of people you give the smile to. "Smile, and the world will smile back to you".
Soooo, smile, please....!! Whatever your mood is, smile really helps you to feel better =) =) =) =) =)

JumP

2010-02-11T21:48:00.000+10:00

If I do not believe in God, I will not be here anymore today.

Sometimes I feel my condition is out of my control, and I start to think that it is so useless to live. It's just my faith that keeps me alive (read: not to try suicide). To be honest, my faith is not that strong. I have my ups and downs. When I am really down I even think, does God hate me that much? It is hard to keep believing in Him. But not to believe in Him is even harder. It requires more faith not to believe in God than to believe.

I believe in His promise, that there will be a day.....
with no more tears,
with no more pain,
with no more fears.....

So I'm hanging on here, standing strong, and being stronger.

p.s. I was standing on the train station platform and thanking God not to jump because I still have Him.

If you want to be happy.... ACCEPT!

2010-02-01T19:02:00.001+10:00

[ . . . . .
Hey, hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way
To just feel better
Just feel better about today

Oh no
If you never want to have
To turn and go away
You might feel better
Might feel better if you stay

-Bridge-
Yeah, yeah
I bet you haven't heard a word I've said
Yeah, yeah
If you've had enough of all your tryin'
Just give up the state of mind you're in

-Chorus-
If you want to be somebody else
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind
Change your mind

Hey, hey
Have you ever danced in the rain
Or thanked the sun
Just for shining- just for shining
Or the sea?

Oh no
Take it all in
The world's a show
And yeah, you look much better
Look much better when you glow

Bridge - Chorus

Hey, hey
What ya say
We both go and seize the day
'Cause what's your hurry
What's your hurry anyway

Bridge - Chorus
. . . . . ]

"Change Your Mind" by Sister Hazel, a soundtrack from Bedazzled, one of my favorite movies =)

I love the movie not only because it is fun to watch, but also because it teaches me a lesson for life which is..... if you want to be happy, then you have to accept. I got similar e-mail from ko Ciprat long time ago about The Art of Being Well by Dr. Drauzio Varella, and one of them is the same thing... you gotta accept, dude!
He says : "They who do not accept (themselves) become envious, jealous, imitators, ultra-competitive, and destructive. Be accepted, accept that you are accepted, accept the criticisms. It is wisdom, good sense, and therapy."

accept who you are,
accept what you have,
accept your condition,
accept things that happen in your life

Well, I'm still learning, too. I was complaining a lot about my situation, then one day I gave so much advice about being happy to one of my best friends (Broto) when I realised that that advice was actually meant for me, too! Isn't that funny? =p

By the way, I got the idea to write this after having a pretty "heavy" conversation with Wendy... LOL~

Psalms 19

2010-01-24T23:16:00.000+10:00

1
The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
2
Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.
3
There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.
4
Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.
...
7
The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
8
The percepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.
9
The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinance of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.
10
They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
11
By them is your servant warned; in keeping them great reward.
...

will you let me be me?

2010-01-16T02:28:00.005+10:00

~
I'm a grown up woman but a girl again
It's been like this since I can remember when
Your questioning and answering
You're always talking to me like I can't relate
When all I want to do is to communicate
You were meant to be someone else

I look at the pictures of me and you, we're smiling
Tell me what happened to the times when
We understood each other, yeah

//Reff :
All I need is a little bit of space to breathe
And a little bit of freedom to be who I want to be
Let me be me
Love means learning to let me go and spread my wings
You let me grow and live life you gotta let me be
Let me be me

You try to teach me lessons not to suffocate
Always setting goals that I don't wanna make
And I'm tired of it, sick and tired of it
And it feels just like we're on a one way street
It's only half where we gotta meet, we gotta make it back

I look at the pictures of me and you, we're smiling
Tell me what happened to the times when
We understood each other, yeah

//Reff

I look at the pictures of me and you, we're smiling
What happened to the times when
We understood each other

//Reff

YOU GOTTA LET ME BE ME!

[please . . . . . .]
~

I am trapped in the situation I don't want to be, but I can't do anything about it. Only you can change this, could you please let me be me?

Listen?

Press ANY Key

2010-01-02T22:46:00.000+10:00

Just want to share the most hilarious joke in my opinion =p

I found this picture on Bakul's compie, couldn't stop laughing just by looking at this picture. She didn't understand why I think this is very funny. Well, I don't know either... It's just different humour "taste" hehe...

* fireworks *

2010-01-01T00:07:00.004+10:00

I love watching fireworks, the concept is the same with starry sky at night... I just love seeing something sparking in that black big screen...

Tonight was New Year's Eve and I just stayed at home. I didn't feel like going out, even though to watch fireworks. It must be so crowded. I could hear the sound of the fireworks going from my room but couldn't see it.

Just some reference of fireworks if you are interested....

How amazing technology is, just a few hours after the real event and the videos have been published...

> Sydney:

> Brisbane:

hape

2009-12-31T22:53:00.002+10:00

This is suggestion from Broto, that I should write something regarding my hape(s) (read: mobile phone).

My first HP was Nokia 8210. It was so cute, even I still like it best until now. Unfortunately its technology cannot be upgraded =(
I got this HP when I was in grade 3 Junior High School. At that time I promised my dad, if he bought me this HP, I would not ask him to change that HP for a new one no matter what.

Of course that was only "promise"....
I fell in love with Nokia 8250, almost the same model, but it got blue light instead of the normal yellow. But because I AM a good child, I tried to keep my promise. So, I tricked my mom to change her HP to that 8250 hahaha... Although it wasn't really mine, still I got it in my house LOL!

Then I fell in love again with Nokia 6510. The light was also blue, but the blue was softer. I am just wondering now, was that only because of the lights that I wanted to change my HP?? kkk... Anyway, I managed to get my parents bought this HP for me although my mom hates this HP very much. She called that HP as "stone". I didn't mind... I still got it... kkk...

After some time, technology has grown fastly. The new HPs got more and more modern. Well, I didn't have any intention to change mine yet, but then my mom was told by her friend about this Nokia 6600 then she bought it. And what's strange was that suddenly it was me who used that HP instead of my mom...

My brother was so into film-making that one day he went on a competition and he won the 3rd prize, it was Nokia 6600 Black edition. But at that time his HP was better than that Black 6600 so I decided to use it.

Then the era of CDMA came and suddenly I had this Nokia 6225 with me, accompanying the Black 6600.

But then a tragedy came to me. I was cooking my breakfast in the kitchen (I was still in Uni, I lived in a boarding house), and when I came back to my room I saw that the door was open. My heart beat faster when I got into my room to find that both my HPs were gone!

A few days after that accident, I got package from my mom, guesss what? My old 6510!! yay!! She sent me her old CDMA 6585 as well...

A few months after that, maybe my parents felt pity on me, they bought me a new Motorola V3x which I liked just because of the model. Together with the 6585, they accompanied me til "the end"...

The "the end" was the time I had to left my country to start a new journey of my life. My problem with my lovely V3x was that I cannot use its alarm function for some reason. Alarm is so important for me, all these times I used the 6585's function for alarm. So, just 2 weeks before I left my country, my parents bought me a Nokia E51. This is enough for me who is a little bit "gaptek" hahaha...

After a few months I lived in the new country, my mom reported to me that someone had stolen my lovely V3x and the 6585!! How dare he!! Well, my mom said, thank God that we are not the thief... True tho... Poor creature that he has to steal...

I am quite satisfied with my E51, but yeah what can I say, temptation came to me in form of iPhone 3Gs hahaha... Someday, someday... =p

i just love Snoopy ^^

2009-12-31T22:20:00.000+10:00

And I Thank You, Lord

2009-12-30T13:52:00.000+10:00

"
she was the person whose smile on her face is that i want to see the most . . .
she was the person whose presence is that i want in my wedding day the most . . .
she was the person whom i want to be beside when she breathed the very last breath the most . . .
but i got "no"s for the answers, and i thank You, Lord for that answer . . .
i thank You, Lord, for giving her to me for 22 years of my life . . .
i thank You, Lord, for providing her such a happier, better place by Your side . . .
i thank You, Lord, because You are the all-knowing-God who knows best for everyone . . .
i thank You, Lord . . .
"

My beloved grandma was born in August 01, 1921, and she passed away on July 16, 2009. It was just less than 3 weeks before she reached 88.

That day I didn't see my mom online on MSN, I thought she just went to the other office. In the afternoon I sent sms to her regarding some stuff. She replied late in the evening, with a short notice in the bottom, saying that my grandma has passed away that morning, peacefully in her sleep. I was blank.

I replied to my mom, saying that God knows what's best. But I did cry. I asked God to keep her until my wedding day... well, at least I want to be there when she's gone! I even personally asked her to wait for me, for 2 years only... But why?? Didn't she love me enough, like I do?

I needed some time to fix up my feelings. I didn't get angry. I was just wondering, is she happy now? Because this is what she wanted. Not what I want, though. If that is what she wanted, she got it, and she is happy, what the hell am I doing protesting??

Like what I said to my mom, God knows what's best. I don't know now, I don't understand why. What I can do is thank Him. Give thanks IN every thing, not FOR every thing. There is always something to be thanked if you really search. I found it, so I made that poem for her...

Fireflies

2009-12-30T12:00:00.002+10:00

This is the title of a song by Owl City, which has been my fav since few days ago...

December 20, 2009
It was a PERFECT day for me! I went to my friend's house to get some movies to fill in my new lovely Seagate FreeAgent 1.5 TB, ate some home-made Korean food (thanks to Wendy), played and had fun with my friends...
So start from now on, I think I can enjoy my holiday more watching movies saved in my external...

December 23, 2009
I thought today would be another perfect day for me. I just updated my Service Pack so I can use MSN normally again, then I was planning to watch some movies when I broke my external hard disk because I am so careless.....again!! It was just a week old in my hand, I had transferred all my data, including my precious memories in form of pictures there!
I was totally blank, didn't know what to do, since the store where I bought my external is closed during Christmas time, and all, yea...ALL of my resources is stored there! I could be crazy if I didn't listen to some musics, so I decided to download Fireflies by Owl City...

December 24, 2009
Christmas Eve but I didn't really felt that this is Christmas... Maybe because I didn't get much activities as I usually get in Indo, like getting involved in church activities whatever they are, attend Christmas Eve service, etc.
Tonight I decided to make new memories, so I went out with Cindy to see the Christmas LightUp. Only a few but not bad for a new memory...
Tomorrow we would have gathering in our house and I would make my special macaroni, so I started preparing, accompanied by Fireflies all the time...

December 25, 2009
I almost cried this morning in the Christmas service because I really didn't feel like Christmas! There was something so wrong inside I knew...
We had gathering in our house in the evening, everybody brought/cooked food/drink, even I baked my special macaroni. It didn't turn out the way I wanted, maybe because I didn't use all the same ingredients/spices I usually use. We played Monopoly, we ate, we talked and joked around, with my Fireflies still playing upstairs...
After everybody gone home, I started crying and I didn't know why!

December 26, 2009
I went to DFO with Steve & Wendy, and met Jun there. I wasn't really in the mood for shopping, but remember, I got NOTHING to do... So I just came along... I got bad hair day, too! And something in my mind didn't want to go away...
I thought I could be crazy too if I only listen to that Fireflies song! So I downloaded Art of Love by Guy Sebastian & Jordin Sparks. But still I just kept it and didn't play it for some reason...

December 27, 2009
Yeah I thought I knew why I felt this way all the time... It's because I only played that Fireflies all the time! With that mellow tune, goodbye thing, it just made me thought about goodbye to all of my precious pictures! I'm crazy I'm crazy......
So it was time to play Art of Love... Time to move on! And at night, Jun sent me Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall to add up my playlist. So now I played 3 songs!

And suddenly I just felt better and ready to let go....... LOL!

p.s. wanna listen to this song? =p

If Only

2009-03-26T19:13:00.000+10:00

If only life was easy
Will I spread my wings and go wherever I want?

If only life doesn't require a hard work
Will I still fight this much?

If only life meant to be free
Will I do whatever I want to "enjoy" it?

If only life had no limitation
Will I still value it?

Teach me, Lord, to understand
'Cause I am totally blind

Masterpiece

2009-03-12T16:32:00.000+10:00

Just thinking...

There is someone who is so eager to have something, he tried so hard to do all he can to reach what he wants... But in the other hand, there is someone else who has the thing that first person wants but he doesn't even want it!

Why don't God just give the first person what he wants and let the second person not have it, because it doesn't matter for him if he doesn't have it....?

::
God sees in us a masterpiece
That one day will be done;
His Spirit works throughout our lives
To make us like His Son.
—Sper-
::

If you're guessing, yes, this is about me... Wanting something so much and trying hard when I see someone else who has already had it takes it for granted. Is this fair...? Perhaps I should see it from God's point of view.

Maybe...
He wants me to depend on Him more, no matter what_
He thinks what I want is not the best for me_
He has another plan for me_
He wants me to keep trying and never give up_
He wants me to learn something_

But still, it is so hard.......

Somebody's Me

2009-02-14T18:43:00.000+10:00

::
You, do you remember me, like I remember you?
Do you spend your life going back in your mind to that time?
Cause I, I walk the streets alone, I hate bein' on my own
And everyone can see that I really fell
And I'm going through hell
Thinking about you with somebody else

[Chorus]
Somebody wants you, somebody needs you
Somebody dreams about you every single night
Somebody can't breath, without you it's lonely
Somebody hopes that one day you will see
That somebody's me
That somebody's me

How, how could we go wrong?
It was so good and now it's gone
And I pray at night that our paths soon will cross
And what we had isn't lost
Cause you're always right here in my thoughts

[Chorus]

You'll always be in my life
Even if I'm not in your life
Because you're in my memory

You, when you remember me
And before you set me free
Oh listen please

[Chorus]
::

A very touching song from one of my fav singers, Enrique Iglesias...
This is the song that I want to be sung by my somebody kkk...

The Way I Do

2009-02-14T18:28:00.000+10:00

::
Your kiss, your smile, your mind
You're sunlight in my eyes
I miss your breath on my neck
When we whisper in the night

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

-Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do-

Your touch, your skin
Can't believe the way you let me in
Don't rush tonight
I need you like the ocean needs the tide

Didn't wanna want you
Didn't wanna need you so bad
Didn't wanna wake up
And find that I was falling so fast
Didn't wanna need you
Didn't wanna need anyone
Now look what you've done

-Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do-

I always thought I would stand on my own
Climb a mountain top all alone
Relying, depending on no one
Now look at what you've done

-Now I can't go on without you
I'm naked, I cant fake it
I'm not that strong without you
Never thought I could love you the way I do-

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

Never thought I could love you
Never thought I could need you
Never thought I could want you
The way I do

I love you
I need you
I want you
..the way I do
[x2]
::

Well, today's Valentine's day, while I am totally single AND happy...
Just want to sing this beautiful song from Marcos Hernandez for someone who is still on his way to get to me, whoever you are =)

drEam JourNey - someday . . . . . . . . .

2009-01-30T18:44:00.000+10:00

I always love Europe!
So my plan is to save a lot of money so that someday I can travel as long as I want, all around Europe on the way that I want it to be...

My plan is...:
1. Ireland - oh I fell in love with this country since I watched my favorite movie, p.s. I Love You, so let it be my first stop
2. Great Britain - there's something about this country that attracts me so much but I can't even tell
3. France - thru the Channel Tunnel for sure!
4. Spain
5. Portugal
6. Italy - ohh I LOVE this country, especially the foods and the artistic buildings
7. Greece
8. Switzerland
9. Germany
10. Belgium
11. Netherlands - I must see tulip fields with my own eyes!
12. Norway
13. Sweden
14. Finland
15. Russia

See, can you imagine how much money I need to save?
Neglecting the fact that I'm still jobless today hahhaaa.....
But someday.... yeah, someday . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . I have faith in this hoho =p

L.O.S.T

2008-12-30T14:21:00.001+10:00

Yup, I had made lost my bro's wallet on Dec. 19,2008...

That day I went shopping to Makro with my bro, and when we were on the way home, he asked me to keep his wallet, then I just held it but I didn't get it into my bag. Then when we had arrived home, he asked me to come out from the car to open the gate. After the car got into the garage, he asked me for the wallet. So I told him that I didn't bring it out when I got out from the car. After long searching, he told me that the wallet wasn't in the car. Sooo I began to panic... I called my mom but she didn't answer for a long time... Huhuhuuu.... That time I had realised that the wallet has gone!

After that, my bro became so quiet... I knew that there was something irreplaceable in that wallet (hush, it's a secret haha), so I felt very guilty... Then after my mom answered my call, soon she left with my bro to the police station. Me at home could only pray that someone would bring the wallet back to him. And after my dad came home from his office, he was mad at me T.T, said that I was so careless... Yeaa it's true I admit...

That day was over and morning came...
When my dad was about to go to his office, suddenly he yelled calling for my bro. There was someone that brought my bro's wallet back! Fufufu, looked like my prayer's been answered... The money has gone, of course, but the most important thing in that wallet, also the other identity cards and ATM cards all were still there.

I thank God for this lesson...
I promise that if someone ever ask me to keep his things anymore, I will take a good care of it hehehe...

Bonded by His Love

2008-12-30T13:49:00.001+10:00

This was the theme of Stadion’s Youth Christmas, which I involved as the team. We chose this theme with the idea to make all the people in our youth service care each other. Based on John 13 : 34 -35, the “new” commandment Jesus made before His death, that we must love each other so that the world will know that we are His disciples. With this theme, we try to remind everyone in our youth service that we are all have been bonded by the same love, it’s Jesus’ love. So, if Jesus Himself has loved us all-out, there is no reason for us, His disciples, not to love our sisters and brothers.

Actually I was responsible for the publication and documentation section (because I like to publish something and I love taking photos hehe…), but I helped the decoration section to make some decorations. The greatest ornament we made was the Christmas Tree. It was made of strings (as you can see from the photo). Cute, isn’t it? It took about 3 days to finish it.

This is one of the publications for the Youth Christmas 08 (of course I published this in form of Power Point):

Quotes from Mother Teresa:
* We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked, and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start from our homes to remedy this kind of poverty.
* There is more hunger in the world for love and appreciation than for bread.
* In this life, we can’t do great things. We can only do small things with great love.
* Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.
* At the end of our lives, we won’t be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, or how many great things we have done. We’ll be judged by “I was hungry and you gave me to eat. I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless and you took me in”
As stated in John. 13 : 34 – 35 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
Then, START FROM OUR HOME!!

Honeywine

2008-11-18T21:13:00.000+10:00

It is a “wine” made of honey. You mix honey and water then add some nutrients and add the yeast. Simply that. But when I made it for my theses… oh no… It was very complicated. To make the proposal only, I took a semester! What a waste of time… Also the procedure is not that simple when you really do it. And I have to do some analysises: alcohol content, total sugar and invert sugar content, pH and total acidity. Luckily I can finish my study on time, although I had planned to finish it on 3.5 years. At first I was interested in the antioxidant content, imagine what if my supervisors said yes haha…

The title of my theses is The Making of Honeywine: A Study of Honey-to-Water Ratio to the Chemical and Sensoric Properties. Like the title, I “only” have to mixture honey and water with various proportions and then test them. But the practice was not that simple. When you deal with microbes, you have to make sure that you won’t get contamination, so you have to be sterile haha… That’s why there are no many people like to do a project in microbiology theme. I didn’t know why I took this topic… Just because I love wine so much.

This project brought me both advantages and disadvantages. The disadvantages were I got so tired because everyday I had to get up early so that I have been at lab at 7 in the morning for everyday of 3 months, I had no special time to pray again. I felt that I was getting further with God (when you feel far from God, guess who’s moving), and the money I spent huhuhu.... And the advantage was that I became more independent. When I have to reach the campus at 7am (because the laborant would get mad at me if I arrived at more than 7.30am), it didn’t mean that my helpers should do the same. I had to prepare everything first so that when they arrived lately, all the things they need was already set. Usually Bakul was the most diligent among them, she would come at around 8, and Meti was the laziest, she would come at around 11 hehe… Also mostly I had to come by myself. In the past I didn’t like to walk alone to go to campus because of some irrational thoughts (e.g. I was afraid that I would be kidnapped during my journey to campus haha, but Bakul said the ones who kidnap me would take more disadvantages than the advantages because I am so troublesome kekeke…). But now I could walk alone to campus *yay* or if the day was so hot I would take pedicab. (By the way, my irrational thoughts came to real just now. Some girls who walked alone along the way from the boarding house to campus got robbed. Lucky I had left the boarding house now.) The other advantage was that I learned what a real life is like (the case with the old lady, make friends and communicate with “weird” people, job pressure, etc.) hihihi...

My helpers are:
Bakul & Andre – Nelson couple specialist
Dhumeng & Lion – total acidity specialist
Lincong & Jojo – alcohol assistants
Meti – pH assistant & specialised in sanitation hahaha…
Broto – serabutan hehehe…

My research began on February 29, 2008 and finished on May 3, 2008. Finally I did my final exam on July 1, 2008. My final score for this theses is B+. I expected A hahaha, but I have thanked God for this score because all what I’ve done during the making of Pembahasan and the presentation hehe…

If Life is So Short

2008-11-18T20:51:00.000+10:00

November 15, 2008 at 10 pm, I received a message from Lion. She told me that Andre's grandma passed away. I was quite shocked. I knew from Bakul that Andre was very close to his grandma, how was his feeling that time...? Then I thought what if now I'm in Andre's position, that my grandma is passed away... I don't dare to imagine what my feeling will be...

I had this dream, to get married on August 20, 2008. The reason was just because I like the date (20-08-2008), cute isn't it? hehe... Of course, my dream didn't come true... I'm still single now because my prince charming hasn't come yet (what I mean with prince charming is a guy who is READY to settle) hahhaa... But I can't imagine, too, if I really got married at very young age (I hadn't reached 22 yet that time), how can I handle a family? Oh come on, I can’t even cook! Marriage is my dream, but on the other hand, there are so many things that I want to do. But why do I really really want to get married as soon as possible is my grandma. I have this desire, to see her smile on my wedding day. My grandma is 87 years old this year and she has no grand-grandchild yet. My eldest cousin hasn’t married yet. Sometimes I felt pity for her because someone at her age maybe has already have grand-grandchildren… Maybe I can give her, that’s what I always think. But still, my condition doesn’t let this happen. I know God has reason for this, but I always pray that she will be still alive on my wedding day. This is what I want, but maybe I should see it from my grandma’s point of view. My dad told me that actually every night she asks God to take her away. Maybe because she feels lonely (3 of her 4 siblings have passed away) and nothing in this house can fill her emptiness. Or maybe because she can’t walk anymore, she feels that she becomes a burden for us (but I never think like that!). I don’t know what makes her has that will exactly, but maybe I should not be egoist. God knows what best, if He thinks that my request is best then He will give what I want, if He thinks that my grandma’s request is best then He will grant it, and if He thinks there’s something’s best beyond our mind then He will give it to us.

I pray that Andre is given strength from Above, to accept all what has happened and to learn to understand what God’s plan is. I also pray for myself that if the day comes to me, I also will be given strength and faith to face it. Now that I know that life is so short, I should use it wisefully. Ephesians 5:15-17… I should use my time left with my grandma to do my best to comfort her. Because all I want is to see her smile always...

Long Way to be Legally STP =p

2008-11-12T14:50:00.001+10:00

It was a long journey so I can get my Bachelor degree... finally... This is what I've always dreamed of since 4 years ago I began my study. Then finally, the day of my graduation was about to come (it was on Nov. 08), and I took another long journey back to Surabaya...

Nov. 04
I departed from Semarang by Rajawali Express Train, I arrived in Surabaya about 1 pm. At night I visited my old boarding house, met some friends and took some photos. After that, I went to Prima Rasa, one of my favorite fried chicken in Surabaya (although it already has a branch in Semarang) to have dinner.

Nov. 05
I helped Lion to do her research, although what I did for her is not enough to give back what she has done for me in the past. At least, I could fix her special syring for her jelly test hehee... But I felt sorry because I didn't help her yesterday, because HEBOH group ruled again! A gallon full of water fell down and cracked, the water came out and made a flood in the lab! Oh how I wish I was there......
About 2 pm, Bakul and I went to Muse Photo Studio to get our pics taken (this is the main reason why I came so early before the grad day hehe..) Actually we finished around 5 pm but because there was a traffic so we came home so late, about 7 pm then we got ready to go to TP with yusyink, Meti, Nano, and REUBEN KUSNAWA.
Yusyink and I ate at i**i Pizza, and I've got so TERRIBLE service that made me promise that I WILL NEVER AND NEVER EAT AT I**I PIZZA ANYMORE!! And I was so *grbl* that I have to pay for the bad service!! It charged us about 1.5% ooOOhhh it was not worthy at all!! I got a very bad mood because of that. But after we took some crazy pictures in TP, I felt very happy. Actually I planned to go with them to get some photos, because maybe I won't see them again for a long time... There was a moment, when we planned to get a picture of us standing inside the lift, but Meti was laughing with weird expression when the lift opened and there were some people inside the lift! After she realised what happened, she ran away! And when we took photo in front of Nail P***, someone inside the store knocked the glasswall behind us. Soon after the *click* we ran away! Yeah, these events boost my mood again...
After we got home, I heard a news that Tawang Station is flooded! How lucky I am because I departed yesterday. If I postpone until today, I might trapped in the flood... Felt so blessed... Thank You, Lord...

Nov. 06
I went to Atom to shop (my favorite place for shopping) because since I'm in Surabaya and then back to Semarang, I don't have mood to shop in Semarang because I always think that I can get this thing cheaper if I was in Surabaya. So, my other destination in Surabaya is to shop! Unfortunately, I couldn't have a long time in Atom because yusyink had to pick Pupu up from school. For the lunch, I chose nasi empal Bu Ru**... so yummy....
At night, we went to PTC to watch the newest James Bond movie - Quantum of Solace. Before that, I ate at Ben**** *nyam* I always luv Ben****..... But I felt a bit sorry because I forgot to eat G**ta ice cream huhuhuu.....

Nov. 07
I went to Delta to go for another shopping (actually I planned to go to TP but yusyink has something to do in Delta).
At 1 pm there was a gladi bersih (what should I say this in English?) for the graduation. And, oh no... I started to get cold!! There was a Malam Pelepasan for FTP students at 5 pm., and because of the cold, I didn't want to go, I wanted to get some rest, but when I called for the permission not to come, I was told to go because it was a must. Ohhh nooo... What would I be tomorrow...? My parents arrived in Surabaya today, and tonight I would be staying at the hotel with them.

Nov. 08
Here it comes... the graduation day!! The only proudly thing about WM is that the graduation is always being held at Shangri-La Hotel Ballroom kekeke.... But unfortunately, my cold was still there. So I didn't have a good mood to take pictures as usual T.T (because usually I am so narcist and I want to have a lot of photossss). But at least I thank God to give me strength so I could attend the graduation, and when my name was called and I have to walk towards, I didn't *hachiii* hahahaa..... Finally...... I am legally STP!! Now I am so relived because Mrs. J*** cannot complain against me again (I always imagine that she wants to withdraw me from graduate haha..)
At night, my dad forced us to eat at Ap*** Kwetiauw (what makes Ap*** so special is because it's never dull). Yeah, it was not bad, but I couldn't enjoy it fully because of my cold....

Nov. 09
Oh I can't believe that I have to go back to Semarang again today... I felt that my time in Surabaya was too short, because there are still so much things to do and eat hehe... But life goes on... I hope someday I can go back there, meet my friends and take more and more pictures!! Luv u all guys....
We departed at 11 am and arrived in Semarang about 6 pm.

-end of story-

Count Your Blessings

2008-10-24T12:47:00.000+10:00

Human forgets easily, rite? That's why I make a special note to write down all the blessings God gave me. So, sometimes when I fall, I can read the note and remember God's kindness to me. That really helps me to rise again. One of them is this one:

It was July 01, 2008 - my big day, I had the final exam for my theses. When I was preparing for the exam, I found some mistakes in my theses. I was confused whether I want to confess or just let it be. There were some days before the D-day, but I didn't have the courage to tell my supervisors, I was too afraid that if they decided to ask me made some revisions and delayed the exam day. But I couldn't find peace if I just let it be. Finally, when the day come, before starting the presentation, I made a confession. At first, the examiners looked very surprised. After discussing for a moment, they let me present my theses. Then, they asked me some questions. I felt that I didn't go very well with the answers. But in the end, they told me that I passed and that meant I had graduated! Ohh, it was such a big relief...
When I walked out from the exam room and met some friends, one of them asked me how the exam was. I was so orientated in the mark, I knew I couldn't get what I want (the perfect score - A) so I told her that I hadn't answered very well and I had some troubles in there. But then she said to me, "That's not a problem. The important thing is that you have graduated!"
That time I realised that I was too focusing to my problems and forgetting the blessings. Not all of my friends can finish their study in time, and my supervisors told me that they could have delayed my exam because of the mistakes I haven't revised yet I still went on, but they didn't do it.
God has sent my friend to remind me to give thanks instead of grumbling and frustating. Because I have done my best, it was time to let God do the rest... Just believe... Then I got the mark of B+, I think it's good enough, remembering the mistakes I had done haha...

Stay the Same

2008-10-24T12:30:00.000+10:00

"
Don't you ever wish you were someone else
You were meant to be the way you are exactly
Don't you ever say you don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself, you're better off by far
And I hope you always stay the same
Cause there's nothing bout you I want change

I think that you could be whatever you want to be
If you could realise all the dreams you have inside
Don't be afraid if you've got something to say
Just open up your heart and let it show you the way

Believe in yourself, reach down inside
The looked by would sets you free
Believe in yourself, you would come alive
And made the world to do you make it through
"

A beautiful song by Joey McIntyre...
It always gives me strength when I fell down. This song reminds me of who I am and thank God for who I am. Believe me, God has purpose for each of human. There's noone that lives by accident. Even God sometimes uses accident as a way that He want us exactly become the way we are. Find your purpose of life in God, and you'll know why you are here on Earth.

National Treasure 2

2008-10-24T12:13:00.000+10:00

Well, well, well... This is the only movie I watched THREE TIMES IN THREE DIFFERENT THEATRES!

Firstly, I watched it with CG in E-Plaza Semarang... Of course we paid for ourselves...
Second, it was Broto's b'day, and after treated Bakul & I with 1 movie in CL Semarang, he still wanted to watch this movie. I said that it was OK if he wanted to pay for me, and he did! hahhhaa...
And the third.... After I went back to Surabaya, I had to watch this movie again because I had promised Arles Halley to accompany him watching this movie... So, there we went... to GM...

Fortunately, I do like this kind of movie. Puzzled... Challenged... Thrilled...
I hope there will be many more movies like this!

watch it online? here

Danger!

2008-10-09T14:04:00.000+10:00

Today I was looking for something and accidently I found "something" from my past. After I took a deep exploration (haha) I realize that this is a dangerous thing if someone finds out. So, I better get this disappear from this house hahaha...

It was a memory from my sweet past time... When I felt in love for the first time (at least, the most-close-to-love-feeling haha) and then my heart broke haha... That time I was such a stupid girl who didn't know how to show someone that I truly love him... Suddenly we became strangers and now we are walking in our own life journey... I don't expect him to come back but I wonder what if I never made that mistake haha... Because I have just known the reason why God didn't let me to be with him...

But forever I will thank him because he had taught me how to love somebody...

Bu Ren

2008-10-09T13:39:00.000+10:00

I am Chinese Indonesian but I was raised in a western-style family, so I do not do Chinese tradition much, and do not speak Chinese Language as well (in fact, my family often talk in Dutch language). Even the simplest Chinese language I don't understand. And this is a story about my misunderstanding in Chinese Language.

One day when I was in my first days at the boarding house, DinCrew were gathering at Lion's room. That time, a Josh Groban's song "You Raise Me Up" was very booming and Lion played it. Then Lion said, "You know, this song is very popular so that Bu Ren likes to sing it, too." I asked her who Bu Ren is. But my friends there were laughing because I didn't know WHO Bu Ren is. Actually, this conversation was not really like this, but at least, this was I caught that time. Then, Meti insulted me with fully victory (she was the one who usually be insulted for being so "lola" >> long loading), "Neng, Neng... Even I know WHO Bu Ren is." Lion felt so pity for me so she told me," Bu Ren is MY servant, Neng...". Unfortunately, after I heard this explanation I told them my defense, "Well, I didn't know before that the name of Lion's servant is Bu Ren!" But the room suddenly was filled with laugh. And after a long stomach-aching-laugh, Dhumeng told me, "Neng, Bu Ren is a Mandarin term of servant.....".
Oohhh....

Maybe the real conversation was like this:
Lion : You know, this song is very popular so that MY bu ren likes to sing it, too.
Oneng : WHO is bu ren?
Meti : Neng, Neng... Even I know WHAT bu ren is.
Lion : Bu ren IS servant, Neng.
Oneng : I didn't know before that the name of Lion's servant is Bu Ren!
Yeah, maybe that's why they called me Oneng hehehe.......

HEBOH Group

2008-10-06T14:17:00.000+10:00

The name Heboh Group was invented by an old senior (killer) lecturer who heads for the Laboratory of Food Analysis. The story began while I was doing my research for my final project. At that time, I need some people to help me because I had to do a lot of testings for my samples in one day. So, I asked DinCrew plus Andre (soon became Bakul's boyfriend) and Broto (not so important haha - just kidding; he often ruined my job, and left me and Bakul alone with 12 samples in the last day of my research!!). And when we were together in the Lab, we often got so noisy because we talked so much about any things, really... ANY!

One day when we were together, Dhumeng, Lincong and I were talking about AMK (Air Mata Kucing). Do you know what is it? I didn't! (ps. click here if you want to know) That was why we were talking about it. And after a long long explanation I haven't got the point what AMK was. This made Dhumeng and Lincong so "swt" so they explained again and again with louder and louder voice. Suddenly, the old lady who was sitting in her office stood up and looked at us from the window that connects her office and the Lab. Then she reprimended us. Since then, she looked very angry to me for bringing chaos to her Lab that may disturbed her concentration on the job (or the Solitaire or Zuma game haha...) She would turn her head if we met , pretending that she didn't see me hahaha... I think she was filled with resentment to me and my friends =p

Then one day, Bakul, Meti and Jojo needed her signature for getting a permission to use the Lab. When they asked her to sign, she asked them, "So, when you, all Heboh Group will finish the research?" But she did give her signature. And what is the impact of this incident fo us? We became popular!! hahaha.... negative, yes, but we just take the positive... LOL!

Gang Dinoyo

2008-10-06T13:53:00.000+10:00

Dinoyo Crew is the name of my group, created when I was still in college (freshgraduate now hohoho). We are 7 girls from the same Faculty at the same year who live in the same boarding house but not in the same floor. Our boarding house is located at Dinoyo Alley and has 3 floors.

Meet Dinoyo crews:
Oneng - myself hehe... They call me so because I am so long-loading person, a bit of fool like Oneng in Bajaj Bajuri (ah, they were just boasting); the only one who stayed at the 1st floor
Bakul - the person who brought me to stay at this boarding house, her 'personality' is different from the rest; stays at the 2nd floor
Meti - Bakul's roomate; this name is a merging from the words "meme" (younger sister) and "titi" (younger brother), because she was very innocent like a little girl, but her power... uh oh, like a boy haha...
Lion - she was named so because someone told her that her hair is like lion's hair hahaha... (actually, not really the same); stays at the 3rd floor
Dhumeng - Lion's roomate; cannot be touched without because she is very ticklish
Lincong - natural beauty that always atrracts disguisting boys from other Faculty who like to take her photos secretly; stays at the 3rd floor
Jojo - last but not least because she is the most clever girl, the only one who graduate cum laude... ; Lincong's roomate

I am the only one who has left this boarding house... There were so many memories, both sweet and bitter, but all these memories stay in my heart... Miss you all, girls...

>> Dhumeng left in October 08, followed by Bakul, Jojo, Lincong, and Lion. Meti is the one that is faithful til the end, she is still staying there til now! hahaha...

Because You Loved Me

2008-09-24T00:13:00.000+10:00

For all those times you stood by me
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful
You're the one who held me up
Never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through it all

Reff:
You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

-Reff-

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place
Because you loved me

-Reff-

> A very, very sweet song... This song is the one which could replace At the Beginning at my repeat list hehehe... I also want to sing this song on my wedding day (oh when will it be haha...)
I think this song is telling about the power of love. When a person comes to the darkest part of his life, he still has someone to lift him up again, with the love she gives. I am waiting for such a person like this, because right now I am facing a complicated thing and I really need someone like the one in this song. I want to dedicate this song to him for giving me support, that's why I want to sing this song on my wedding day...

At the Beginning

2008-09-23T23:58:00.000+10:00

We were strangers starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we stand and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lose hope, you wew there to remind me
This is the start

Reff:
And life is a road I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

-Reff-

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I'vebeen waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

-Reff-

(Richard Marx & Donna Lewis)

> This is a song which I recently love. Broto had been so bored because I repeated this song so many times on his mobile phone hehehe...
This song is about two strangers in their life journey, suddenly meet, and decide to start a new life together. They say that if they are together, so they will not be afraid of the future. That's so sweet =)
I want to sing this song on my wedding day, I hope that I can find someone whom I can sing this song together with soon hehehe...

> Watch the video of this song here

P.S. I Love You

2008-09-22T15:48:00.000+10:00

It is the title of a movie based on a novel by Cecilia Ahern. I have watched this movie 4 times (updated: 7 times til Dec. 09) and since the first time I watched it, I always cry hahaha... I first watched this movie at Surabaya (and until now it hasn't been played in Semarang) with my friends. And after that I promised myself to buy the DVD - original one hahaha... My friends cannot understand why I am so crazy about this movie... I will tell you now... From my point of view that makes me fall in love with this movie...

The story is about a woman named Holly. She was a labile girl (just like me hehe) when she met Gerry. They fell in love with each other and got married (wish I can find one haha) but this marriage didn't give them a happy ending, because Gerry died because of brain tumor at very very young age, he was only 35 when he died. And Holly felt that she couldn't go on her life. For all this times Holly didn't know what she wants in life (yeaa I'm like her). Luckily she found Gerry, and all her life was only to be with Gerry. But Gerry died, what more Holly has to do? She was very down, didn't want to go her life on...

But Gerry didn't left Holly yet... Suddenly a letter from Gerry appeared at Holly's 30 birthday, giving her instructions to go partying. The most important is, give Holly new spirit to live... Other letters kept coming in different ways made Holly felt that Gerry was still alive. At least now she had a reason for live...to wait for Gerry's letters...

This was of course unhealthy (imagine that this is the purpose of your life hehe)... But Gerry had already knew that Holly could not stand on her own feet, at least for now... That's why he kept sending her letters. He encouraged Holly to reach the moon in the sky... And finally, Holly did reached her moon, with Gerry's help of course...

I think that this is a very touching story. I want to find my own Gerry hehehe... Someone who loves me, accepts me for the way I am, knows all my weakness and helps me to stand on my feet. Right now I am just like the old Holly who doesn't know what I really want in life and I want to meet my Gerry maybe because I want to runaway... Maybe God knows, so He didn't give me my Gerry yet... Yesterday when I chat with Ndut, she said that God didn't give me an easy wayout because He wants me to depend on Him. Maybe that's true... Since the Skripsi Time, I have no time to pray like before. Maybe He gives me this so I can get my Faith again. I really want to be the new Holly who can stand on her own feet, know exactly what I want in life, do useful things in my life, walk on His way until the end... And like what Yuli likes to say, "Let His will be done in my life"...

:: click here to visit the official website ::

Hello, World!

2008-09-22T15:36:00.000+10:00

Suddenly I want to make a blog and I start it now... yay!!

Today I woke up at 6.30 in the morning because I had a conversation class at 8 am huhuhu... I really want to sleep a little bit more... But, life has to go on, baby...

Why do I love nightsky so much? I don't know exactly hehehe... But when I look up into the nightsky, I see a big black screen and the most interesting for me is seeing the stars shining in that black screen... It looks like telling me that although I face the most "black" part in life, there's still a light that will come out... This faith is what I really need right now...